Insomnia

I can get no sleep. I still have fever, it's about 38,5 degrees centigrade now. :/

At first I was going to post some random babbling about all the wonderful things in my life, but then I wanted to sulk about all the sucky things (flu, the fact that Elmo dumped me over five weeks ago and it still feels bad), but I don't really see the point in that.

So I'll just write about my mom.

We had a conversation about my breakup with Elmo the other day. I didn't want to talk about it, but somehow she had trouble understanding that. She did mean well, but still it was annoying. Anyhow, she asked if we had had any contact. I said that we have exchanged some e-mails and phone calls about the annual festivities of Euroavia Helsinki. She replied something like "oh, were you supposed to go there?"

Well, duh, I'm the annual festivities coordinator and Elmo is the president of the club. So yes, we are going there.

That conversation just proves how little she actually knows about my life. I have always blamed her for not caring, but could the reason actually be that I never tell her anything? Our conversations are pretty monosyllabic on my side, whereas she is actually asking questions and trying to have some conversation.

I guess we just like to talk about different things. I'd rather have all my teeth removed one by one than talk openly to her about my love life. Sure I tell her if I have a boyfriend, because I think it's not fair that dad knows and she doesn't (they're divorced). But I could never tell her if I have a crush on somebody, or tell every juicy detail of how I met somebody, and so on. Neither do I see the point of telling her what I did yesterday or what I am doing right now. It's probably nothing really interesting anyway.

I don't know what to do. Probably nothing. We are going to Canary Islands next week, maybe the trip will bring us closer.

Of course I love her, she's my mother, after all. She just drives me crazy sometimes.